Arothotad - Magichands

Autumn 150: Our dwarves settled amidst a cold climate, but bordering some warmer land. There is a good amount of available trees to use. We quickly got to work digging out our living quarters before the Winter came in. We have a good amount of fresh meat, and some plants to use, so we aren’t too worried about the cold. A group of elves again joined our starting dwarves, this time numbering 5, with 10 elves coming to live with. Let us take a minute to settle in on our original dwarven settlers. First is our expedition leader, Lemon Drop. She is a 29 year old, so quite young to be leading an expedition like this. She is a competent brewer and planter, and will keep our site well fed.

Autumn 150: Up next is Appletini, an axedwarf. We will work much more quickly this fort to get him geared up and ready to defend us.

Autumn 150: Our next highlight is on Lychee Martini, who is close friends with Lemon Drop and Grasshopper. Brooklyn sees Lychee Martini as a kindred spirit, although he only sees her as a run-of-the-mill friend. Lychee Martini is a miner, and Brooklyn is a swordsdwarf.

Autumn 150: Grasshopper is a woodcutter and carpenter, who is pretty flexible and is quite happy to be smoothing some walls of our fortress right now.

Winter 150: As winter blows in, we elect a manager, Metagross the elf, and a bookkeeper, The Consumer the elf. The miners in our fortress also demand a guildhall.

Winter 150: Using the schematics from Wisdomconstructs, we quickly rebuilt a nice fort with multiple workshops. There is still much to do, though!

Winter 150: We made a barracks and appointed Brooklyn to be the leader of our militia. The militia squad we formed is called The Barricaded Toes.

Year 151-

Spring 151: The Spring peeked through, and our dwarves are hard at work trying to get our fortress’ economy up and running. We made a little office for Lemon Drop to conduct his official duties in.

Spring 151: We created a miner guildhall for our lovely citizens. It is kind of plain, but we will work to get some statues in there soon.

Summer 151: Our citizens are extremely busy building the essentials for us. We had a new addition to our fortress, a monster slayer called Edgar Allen Poe. He will hopefully help our militia if there are any monster attacks.

Summer 151: Our first migrant wave has arrived. We set to work carving more bedrooms for our citizens. Maya and Pop Rocks, who fled our previous settlement, have arrived, and marvel at the accuracy in which we captured the designs of Wisdomconstructs. We are now at 18 citizens.

Summer 151: Pop Rocks arrived quite injured still. We are going to rush towards building a hospital and hope to save them.

Autumn 151: Our rudimentary hospital was finished, and Pop Rocks is doing okay (at least, she is walking around and working).. Lemon Drop, our expedition leader, was elected to be our chief medical dwarf amongst his other responsibilities.

Autumn 151: The dwarven caravan just arrived. We are going to send out a representative to trade, and hopefully encourage more settlers to come. Maya the bone doctor was elected to be our broker. Maya is a talented carpenter and novice miner,

Autumn 151: The traders expressed a need for crutches, so we might use some iron to try and flip some easy money next year. We had a successful trade, getting some meat, cheese, and cloth, among other things.

Autumn 151: We got a migrant wave, which contributed only two additional citizens to help out. Unfortunately, we are a bit low on hands.

Autumn 151: Appletini has become an axe lord.

Winter 151: A kobold caravan has come, but we are not ready to establish relations just yet. We are busy at work trying to get things up and running, and to create stone blocks for the bedrooms for our dwarves. We also hope to create a nice dining hall.

Winter 151: As the year draws to a close, a new set of migrants have arrived, resulting in a total population of 27.

Year 152-

Spring 152: Our work on our dining hall is nearly complete. We are going to encrust some of our furniture with gems to ensure it is lovely and snazzy.

Spring 152: Lemon Drop is serving us well as a kind and empathetic leader. She is an adept planter and a competent brewer, as well as a competent consoler and pacifier. Despite being our chief medical dwarf, she does not have a ton of skills in medical related talents, and is mostly

Spring 152: A huge group of migrants came in! We are now at 42 citizens. We got to work extending our living districts.

Spring 152: Our first possession has occurred! Gail the Snail was possessed. She claims a metalsmith forge. She is a talented glazer who recently immigrated to our fortress, and is also an adequate blacksmith. Hopefully she makes something awesome!

Spring 152: Gail the Snail created Locunostath (Riseesteems), a silver crutch. She offers it to our local site. Pretty cool, but not really the weapon that we were hoping for.

Spring 152: We allowed Olimar, a human swordsman, to join our fortress as a monster hunter.

Spring 152: The humans sent a caravan. We will trade with them. Maya is quite successful, trading some gems, some encrusted mechanisms, and a lot of mugs for some meat and cloth.

Summer 152: Another group of migrants came. We are now at 47 civilians. Many of these individuals are worshippers of The Umber Communion, and they request that we build them a temple and appoint a priest. We get to work.

Summer 152: We finally finished our dining room! It is just off center of the main crafts-room, so we can have our citizens access it easily. It also serves as the place of storage for all our finished food items. It is a little plain for now, but we will spruce it up.

Autumn 152: The dwarven caravan has arrived. We send some gems, iron splints, and more to trade. We hope to make another good impression. We continue to work on our temple, and we are creating special quarters for the high priest that will eventually be selected. Maya, our broker, heads over to make a trade. We traded for a lot of cloth, many barrels of meat, and some additional goodies.

Autumn 152: Blingus, a dwarven dyer, was inspired and created Irtirzatam (Dangledclouts), a peach wood chest artifact. She offers it to our little hamlet.

Winter 152: With the first of the month comes the Moonstone Festival, during which our citizens get a well deserved break. All but the most essential of functions are paused, and the militia gets to take some time to relax. Brooklyn, our militia commander and legendary fighter and swordsdwarf, gives an impassioned speech to her new militia recruits about the importance of rest and self care.

Winter 152: Many of our dwarves are enjoying the new temple that was dedicated to The Umber Communion. This temple is called The Chapel of Amethyst, and those amongst the believers voted to have Ize! be the Sacred Earth of the worshippers. Ize! is a talented mason, proficient armorsmith, and is skilled at furnace operation, weaponsmithing, blacksmithing, and metal crafting. They are a skilled persuader, negotiator, judge of intent, conversationalist, and consoler. His friend in the fortress is Spookely, Square Pumpkin (they very recently became friends while discussing religion in the temple!). He disdains decorum, but is excited that his personalized living quarters and tomb will be completed once the Moonstone Festival ends. He and the rest of the worshippers are dedicated to Uzol Adilzas (Uzol the Walled Crystal).

Winter 152: Interestingly Ize! was actually the one to create a special silver statue of Uzol the Walled Crystal for use in the temple.

Winter 152: During this momentous time, Appletini the legendary axedwarf and colleague of Brooklyn’s is struck by a strange mood. She claims a stoneworker’s shop. He creates Shetbethusen Aral Tekkud (Twinklehelps the Mightiness of Picks), a lignite grate artifact. She claims it personally as a family heirloom. This great artifact depicts an image of dwarves migrating nad forming The Murky Hall at Magichands in the late autumn of the year 150.

Winter 152: A lot of oral tradition was shared during the festival, including the fate of our last queen, Moldath Ringwhips. She began serving as queen in the year 125; her mother, Logem Salvewheel is still living, and is the greatest dwarven weaponsmith in history. Her father, Tosid Merchantgleamed, is the Mayor of The Fortress of Splashes. One of her sisters, named Lolor Bigcloister, was a necromancer. One of her brothers was a professional criminal. In 149, Moldath was accompanying a small, diplomatic force and were crossing The Desert of Oars, a brutal desert home to the mythical desert titan Chok Budbrands the Rainy Glade. A goblin force ambushed she and this small group, and one of their tamed cave dragons claimed her life. Given her family’s association with necromancy and criminal elements, her parents and her siblings were not under consideration for ascension; instead, Mezbuth Marketworked was chosen by the barony given her general lack of experience; they hoped for a pawn to manipulate. On their recommendations, she has been attempting to expand the dwarven empire that has persisted over the last 150 years. Mezbuth’s goal is to rule the world, and at only age 32, she is in prime position to advance her claim.

Winter 152: The festival ends, and with a sobering quality, we receive a most ominous visitor. The commander necromancer Ola Prariebirth has come to tour our fortress. The expedition leader Lemon Drop prepares to greet them amicably. Ola is a scholar and bowave, who helped to discover and chart the path of the moon in the sky. They currently work as a commander for a militia group under a Naga civilization. She just scoped out our hospital and then left.

Winter 152: We hit 50 citizens! We have also fully renovated our first floor of living area.

Year 153-

Spring 153: We have finally created a clothier’s shop, and hope to work to create lovely garments for all our citizens.

Spring 153: Linguini the glassmaker has been struck by a strange mood and claimed a glassworking furnace, but cannot find what he needs. He likely needs raw green glass or raw clear glass, so we will have to start making pieces of them. We hastily construct a second, temporary glass furnace to create the required materials.

Spring 153: After a bit of assistance in getting green glass and some leather, Linguini finished his life’s masterwork, a green glass amulet artifact called Ulosh Inir (The Stigmata of Declining).

He offers it to our local government. Unfortunately, given the name, it seems this artifact is quite cursed. Despite our hopes to increase our population we can support this year, we will have to wait until Spring 154 to open ourselves up to a larger population. Despite being a bit cursed, it is quite the pretty artifact.

Spring 153: One major flaw of our fortress is a lack of freshwater. Lemon Drop decided that we should funnel water from the cavern into our fortress, and use Twinklehelps the Mightiness of Picks as an indestructible grate to keep any swimmers or forgotten beasts away. We created a well using this design.

Summer 153: The dwarves of the Indigo Boulder have attained a general familiarity with badger training methods.

Summer 153: Super scary - a Magician dark stalker has come to our fortress. It is unclear what for. We followed him as he prayed briefly in our temple, and then hung out in our hospital for a while. No one mustered up the courage to speak to him, so he left.

Summer 153: Grasshopper the stoneworker was inspired and created Duzonshen (Smearchants), a gypsum scepter artifact. He claims it as a family heirloom. Grasshopper is another one of our founding dwarves, so this development is quite exciting.

Summer 153: A group of centaurs have come to our map. We deployed our militia.

Summer 153: Unfortunately, despite our best efforts, they caught The Inedible Thob alone and killed him. He was a furnace operator. We will need to craft him a tomb.

Summer 153: After killing the centaurs, a group of wild coyotes wandered onto the map. We killed those off too.

Fall 153: The dwarven caravan arrived. We don’t have as much to trade, having bartered away much of our gemstones. We will still have the broker Maya make a good attempt at trade, however. We were barely able to bargain away a few bins of cloth. Maya is an adept appraiser now though, however!

Autumn 153: Bonie the elf miner chose to join the traders and leave our fortress.

Autumn 153: Ize! the sacred earth, had his personalized quarters finished. His bedroom features some lovely gemstones, and his tomb features a clear glass statue of Grasshopper, Uzol the Walled Crystal, and a commissioned statue of Ize! himself, being elected to the role of sacred earth of The Umber Communion in the late autumn of year 152. Riseesteems, the silver crutch artifact, is on a pedestal in his tomb to show how with a strong deity, anyone can stand with assistance.

Autumn 153: Maya, our broker, was inspired and created Inbrukngalak Asmel Anist (Ashabyss the Merchants of Igniting), an oaken splint artifact. He claims it as a family heirloom. It shows an image of The Lilac of Love the bronze bow in microcline. Now that is a bow we would love to steal.

Autumn 153: We placed Ulosh Inir, (The Stigmata of Declining) on display in our only temple. We hope the positive energy will help to cleanse it.

Winter 153: Winter begins, and with it comes the annual Moonstone Festival. All work orders are ceased, but our drink stores are low, with just 29 drinks and almost no plants. Lemon Drop was forced to ask our citizens to forage for grasses and fruits from the surface to use to brew with, a move that has made him quite unpopular and soured the start of the festival. We hope that people will eventually be able to settle down and enjoy themselves.

Winter 153: Things quickly picked up, with Ize! leading a great celebration in our temple, while The Riddler, a legendary miner, leads a mining demonstration in our guildhall.

Winter 153: To his credit, Lemon Drop spent the duration of the Moonstone Festival brewing alcohol to ensure the party could keep on going.

Winter 153: We created a very modest tomb district to house our dead in. The Inedible Thob is the first citizen to die and be buried here.

Year 154-

Spring 154: With the new year coming, we can feel the curse of 153 weakening, and hope to host more settlers soon. We have big plans for this year, including finishing a tavern!

Spring 154: We received a large migrant wave, bringing us to 74 citizens. The Guild of Swamps, a farmer guild, has asked for a guildhall. We will of course cooperate.

Spring 154: Two religious groups, The Doctrines of Heather and The Perfect Coven are asking for temples and priests. We will have to work on those as well. Ize! is not happy to hear about these competing religions.

Spring 154: Someone stole Ulosh Inir, (The Stigmata of Declining) the green amulet from our temple for The Umber Communion! The pedestal where it used to be is now empty. We have no clue who took it, or when.

Spring 154: At the end of Spring we had our first snatcher attack - three goblins came, and were met quickly by our militia. They dealt with them.

Summer 154: A group of invaders (only four in total) rushed towards our fortress. Our militia were warmed up and ready to defend us. It is not clear if these ambushers are naga, goblin, or some other group.

Summer 154: Cricket, a trader, was elected to be our first mayor. He is young, but very social, and is a proficient intimidator and consoler, as well as a skilled persuader, negotiator, and more. We will need to build him specialized living quarters.

Summer 154: Our first forgotten beast has arrived! Their name is Zozlo the Great Loyalty, a gigantic skinless sauropod with wings, glowing eyes, and a fire breath attack.

Summer 154: We finished The Temple of Culmination, for The Perfect Coven. Mount Everest was elected to be our Holy Seal, and lead the congregation. We also have Ashabyss the Merchants of Igniting on display for our worshippers to enjoy. Ashabyss is Maya’s family heirloom and she is not a member of the church, but offered to let them borrow it. Mount Everest is very popular and has a lot of friends, including Scott Rolen being their closest friend, but also Liam, Linguini, Ampharos, Jeremy, The Waitress, and Spookely the Square Pumpkin.

Summer 154: A different forgotten beast has come, Zile the Little Fleck. This beast is truly fearsome. Composed of crystal glass, wings, and with a deadly dust attack. We do not want to fight this thing.

Summer 154: We finished The Shrines of Chanting, commissioned by The Doctrines of Heather. The priest of this temple is the Holy Vale Teresa Giudice, who is a high master brewer by trade and has a great rapport with the members of his congregation. Most of our dwarves have their hands full with our various commissioned projects, so there isn’t much worship to go around.

Summer 154: Cricket, our new mayor, was inspired and created Mestthos Damol (The Citadel of Pitch), a gabbro mug artifact. He offers it to our group, like a true mayor should. This item is beautiful, encrusted with round gabbro cabochons and oval cut tanzanites, and it is recursive, featuring an image of itself on it. It also depicts our broker, Maya, entering into a fey mood in Autumn of 153.

Autumn 154: The Dwarven caravan has arrived, and thankfully we are doing much better this year than last. We have lots of gems to trade away, and aren’t much in need for plants or meat.

Autumn 154: Our dwarves now know a few facts about wild muskox training.

Autumn 154: Maya was extremely successful, trading away all our gems for a king’s horde of cloth, leather, and wood to use. She traded with some naga that were local as well. She is not only a legendary woodcrafter, but also an expert appraiser.

Autumn 154: A few citizens have chosen to leave, including Shellhammers, Charon, Jonah, Nifty Fifties, and Lizard Eater.

Autumn 154: Liam the gelder created Bogsoshstettad (Brigandtaxes), a gypsum earring. She offers it to the Indigo Boulder. It is decorated with some gemstones, and is adorned with racoon leather. It features an image of the dwarf Gail the Snail, contemplating her possession. It is also recursive, and shows itself.

Winter 154: Autumn comes to an end, and the Moonstone Festival comes once again, for the 4th year in a row. All but the most essential of jobs are ceased, and our militia, still lead by Brooklyn, is able to take a break. This is mayor Cricket’s first time leading the festivities, with the prior expedition leader Lemon Drop being in charge. There is a general theme of military might with the festival, and Cricket announced his plans to create a marksman squad after the festival’s conclusion. We will have to see who is interested. A guildhall called The Cloudy Hail, for the farmers guild, is also now complete. With three temples, two guildhalls, a dining hall, hospital, and a new tavern on the way, there is much to celebrate with this new festival. A picture of the guildhall is shown below, including Blingus the farmer and dyer waiting for others to join her in the farmers guildhall.

Winter 154: Mount Everest is overjoyed as worshippers join her in her temple, saying “I am a very important person”. Her special room and tomb are nearly complete.

Winter 154: Holy One has given birth to a boy. I believe this is the first child born at our fortress. We name the newborn Whiskey Sour.

Winter 154: Two green D’gons have come, which is very problematic as we do not have a marksman squad yet. These beasts have strong scales that our tough melee dwarves can penetrate, but they often cannot get close enough due to the monster’s fire breath. We man our bolt thrower turrets, and managed to greatly wound one of the fearsome dragons, with Mayor Cricket even getting into the action.

Winter 154: A group of kobold ambushers were caught skulking around our fortress. They sprang out after we killed the D’gons, so they were obviously as scared of them as we were.

Winter 154: The dwarves of The Indigo Boulder are now quite knowledgeable badger trainers.

Winter 154: We have created a marksdwarf squad, led by Inspuz Aratcaslu, and featuring many of our newer migrants. However, Musty the elven miner was also inspired to take up military service, and joined too.  

Year 155-

Spring 155: Some naga and ave trading groups came. We do not have any interest in trading with them.

Spring 155: Pop Rocks, a weaponsmith (who came to our fortress from our previous fortress, badly wounded) was inspired and created Gathilshetbeth Meden Lebes (Sensualtwinkles the Tribe of Apexes), a silver mace artifact. She claims it as a family heirloom. We will need to figure out who in her family can wield this powerful weapon. Thus is completed our first of many goals for this fortress!

Spring 155: Lychee Martini and Lemon Drop are now lovers! Now that Lemon Drop is no longer running our fortress, she and Lychee Martini have had more time to bond and grow fonder together.

Spring 155: Mudo, the magician dark stalker has come again. He had a few cursory conversations, they bid us leave.

Summer 155: Mayor Cricket was re-elected.

Summer 155: Sponsored by NordVPN, a miner, has created Rulushlaluth Lular Katdir (Splashfloods the Rooters of Glimmering), a garnierite door artifact. He claims it as a family heirloom in the name of the family ancestor Ampharos. It is a recursive artifact that is quite valuable; it will likely be used as an indestructible door. Ampharos is shown here. I am not really sure how they are related at all.

Summer 155: We finished Mayor Cricket’s quarters, and have to work on their tomb next. The artifact mug The Citadel of Pitch is safely stored as part of his bedroom, and we have Sensualtwinkles the Tribe of Apexes on guard behind a walled bridge here, until a sufficient heir is ready for it. We will try to set Pop Rocks up with someone as we need an heir to use this powerful weapon. We will likely match up Pop Rocks and Eros, as they have a shared interest in smithing.

Autumn 155: The dwarven caravan came again, and they demanded to name a noble. We select Olive Garden, a strand extractor, to be elevated to the nobility. Adamantine strands will hopefully be in our future, and this a good omen moving forward. Olive Garden is notable for having a pet warg, a fearsome dog-like beast, but much larger. He has many passing acquaintances, but no true friends, at least not yet. He is religious, and is an ardent follower of Ize! and The Umber Communion, worshipping Uzol the Walled Crystal.

Autumn 165: The traders did not bring much for us. As Maya as heading inside, she noticed that there was an invading force lying in ambush. Now revealed, we prepared our dwarves to attack them.

Autumn 165: A group of centaurs then came to bother us, so we sent out militia out to take care of them, too.

Autumn 165: A few dwarves decided to leave, including Beard to the Beard, Angry Dad, and Linguini.

Autumn 165: The hillocks of Standardwound have been founded a day’s travel to the southwest and incorporated into our holdings.

Autumn 165: The elven miner Evil Cat Witch was caught outside our fortress by an aggressive centaur and was killed. We will bury her with the honors of a warrior.

Autumn 165: Eros, coincidentally, was also inspired to create an artifact! He created Elbelzeber (Renownsmoulder), a bronze barrel artifact. He offers it to our civilization. We place Renownsmoulder in the tomb for the Holy Seal of The Perfect Coven, Mount Everest.

Autumn 155: We got an interesting visitor, Sxostess Devilromances the naga pilgrim. He is here to pray in The Temple of Culmination

Autumn 155: A pretty cool forgotten beast, called Kure, has arrived. They are an eyeless newt, with thin wings of stretched skin. Unfortunately, they are likely no match for Zile Depthidoles the Little Fleck, the powerful crystal glass humanoid that rules our second cavern layer.

Autumn 155: North Berry, our macedwarf, is very unhappy being in the military. We substitute them with a new dwarf who recently migrated, named Stan.

Autumn 155: Kure clashed with Zile Depthidols the Little Fleck, but unfortunately, was not successful. The beast fell, with Zile reigning victorious.

Winter 155: Aladdin, a bowyer, was badly crushed by a fallen tree. Such is the price of industry.

Winter 155: With the hustle and bustle of the fortress, we forgot about the Moonstone Festival. Mayor Cricket demands all activities ceased, and we will celebrate from the twentieth of Moonstone until the end of next month.

Winter 155: We created a honeymoon suite for Eros and Pop Rocks, and also created a weaponsmithing guild so the two can have something to talk about. With the Festival going on right now, it is shockingly popular. Pop Rock’s room is on the left, and Eros’ on the right.

Winter 155: The metalsmiths in our fortress want to distinguish themselves from our weaponsmiths, and ask us to create a guildhall once the festival season is finished. We will, of course, acquiesce.

Winter 155: Cliff Lee, the weaponsmith, has created Nethumam (Balancesoar), a green glass armor stand artifact, which he offers to our fortress. This artifact shows a prior queen, Moldath Ringwhips, who ascended to be our queen in the year 125.

Winter 155: Some goblin ambushers came, and we killed them all.

Year 156-

Spring 156: The elves have come and threatened us, as we cut down too many trees this past year.

Spring 156: Pop Rocks and Eros are now friends!

Spring 156: We finished our metalsmith’s guild!

Summer 156: Heracross, a dwarven child was inspired to created Ekirshoduk Oltud Sisal (Luciddives the Stalker of Gallows), a yak bone spear artifact. She claims it as an heirloom in the name of the family ancestor PISCESFOO. Although not very sharp, this weapon artifact is indestructible.

Summer 156: Mayor Cricket was re-elected.

Summer 156: The Umber Communion is now popular enough where they have been deemed to have a temple complex (our prior temple already met those requirements) and Ize! has been promoted to the Sacred Earth, a high priest of the religion. The swordmaster Down Unda felt strongly about quitting the military to serve as the standard priest, called the First Aquamarine.

Summer 156: A guild for the craftsdwarves has been completed.

Summer 156: We have a major order right now to find more precious gemstones, so our miners are hard at work in the bowels of our fortress.

Summer 156: A lot of the dwarves living here have begun to complain quite a bit about hearing banging and noises that sound like scratching against glass. This is likely due to the fearsome Zile Depthidols the Little Fleck; since arriving in our caverns, he has been relentlessly hunting anything that he can, including The Wanderer of Umbras and Kure in 155, and Ikete this year. He has also killed 37 other beasts. We are going to work on killing the beast, so that these rumors will cease. They are certainly hurting our abilities to recruit more dwarves, as we have not gotten any new migrants in a while and are sitting at 98 population.

Summer 156: A small group of ambushers were caught after they were attacked by some wild coyotes. We had to stop progress on our forgotten beast killing project to deal with them.

Summer 156: Interestingly, Pop Rocks appears to have two suitors - Eros the blacksmith, and then Ize! the sacred earth. He has been spending a lot of time in the guildhall with Pop Rocks and Eros, as he is a professional weaponsmith. He is close friends with Pop Rocks and friends with Eros. Eros and Pop Rocks are mutual close friends.

Autumn 156: The dwarves of our civilization have gotten a general familiarity with muskox training methods.

Autumn 156: We created a chamber to engage the forgotten beast in. The main area will be filled with war dogs to distract the beast, while our melee forces wait in the north most room, and our archers fire through the fortifications in the right most room.

Autumn 156: The dwarves of our capital have come. We sent some ammo to trade, along with some gems. We were made into a county, as we have traded well these past 6 years.

Autumn 156: Spookely, Square Pumpkin has created Anerrid Artobngotun (Sportground the Combined Cult), a yak bone coffin artifact. He offers it to our group.

Autumn 156: Many citizens decided to leave, including Besito, Pizza Delivery, SHEN, Rick, New Orleans, Nightmare, Ampharos, and most importantly, Spookely, Square Pumpkin. This is sad, as he just created his life’s work and is leaving it behind.

Autumn 156: Here is a better depiction of how things will go. We prepare to fight this beast.

Autumn 156: The dwarf Luke Skywalker is the miner tasked with cracking open our little structure to the outside world. Thankfully, after opening up the wall, he was able to get away without attention.

Autumn 156: Our resident monster hunter, Olimar, was super stoked to realize the caverns are open. He immediately rushed down to be the first to engage Zile Depthidols the Little Fleck. As a reminder, Zile is a giant crystal glass humanoid with wings, and it has a deadly dust attack. The years of carnage that it brought have left it fractured and banged up, but still incredibly deadly. The battle begins!

Autumn 156: Gail the Snail, a marksdwarf, gets the first hit in, loosing an iron bolt and chipping the glass of the beast’s shoulder. Olimar rushes in to engage the beast, but gets his right foot obliterated, and doesn’t really get any solid hits in. We call in our melee squad next, and hope the dogs will begin to attack.

Autumn 156: Zile does a pretty horrible combo move, throwing a stray war dog, then punting it and having it hit Olimar directly. That is not fighting fair.

Autumn 156: Olimar is too injured to stand, so Brooklyn the swordsdwarf and Jumping from Spiders the mace dwarf come in to attack, and tag him out.

Autumn 156: We managed to break off Zile’s left hand! Brooklyn was the one who sliced it off.

Autumn 156: Bart Simpson, an axe lord, ultimately got a clean strike and cleaved the beast Zile directly in half, getting credit for this kill.

Autumn 156: After being exposed to Zile’s deadly dust, many of our militia members developed blistering and fevers. The marksdwarf Captain America is unfortunately one such example.

Autumn 156: A new forgotten beast, named Atu Murksneaks, entered as soon as it sensed Zile had perished. The human pikeman monster slayer Ben cried out “This is what I have been waiting for - in the midst of combat, I must press on!” and began to fight the beast. I think he is winning.

Autumn 156: Unfortunately, Ben did not, in fact, win. He died of a mangled heart. Big Yakker the markdwarf avenged him with a very well placed shot.

Autumn 156: We had an ambush party revealed. They were revealed because they actually got attacked by a werecamel, which they killed. We had to slaughter them all, lest we become werecamel ourselves.

Autumn 156: We opened our tavern just in time for the Moonstone Festival next month! We have a few artifacts on display, including Brigandtaxes, Smearchants, Sportground the Combined Cult, and Lucciddives the Stalker of Gallows. This achieves another one of our fortress’ goals.

Winter 156: The Moonstone Festival arrived. Olive Garden is very unhappy for not having his noble rooms finished, but was still quite pleased to officiate the festival for the first time.

Winter 156: It wasn’t long before a dance broke out! They kind of form a pseudo-line and hang out dancing in place.

Winter 156: Some kobolds from a visiting caravan chose to join our fortress. Among them is Aerodactyl, who quickly joins the festivities.

Winter 156: Thanks to Eros and Pop Rocks, enough weaponsmiths are in our fortress that a formalized guild was established.

Winter 156: A tree just fell on Grasshopper, gelding him :( poor guy.

Winter 156: Mothman, a weaponsmith, was inspired to create the artifact steel short sword Uremrab (Fatherglow). She offers it to our military. This artifact also depicts the dwarven Queen Ast Peacegilds rising to power in 91, as well as a bronze colossus named Ur Whipfrenzies the Righteous wandering in a part of the world call The Lavender Tundra in spring 42. We give this artifact to Brooklyn to use.

Year 157-

Spring 157: A new forgotten beast has come with the new year - Syisthyth the Superior. They are a giant hairy tick with a really cool design.

Spring 157: A group of migrants arrived, bringing us to 114 citizens.

Spring 157: A group of kobold ambushers came. We mobilized our military.

\

Spring 157: Lychee Martini, one of our starting dwarves and Lemon Drop’s lover, was inspired and created Nelas Gar (The Flicker of Destroyers), an ilmenite coffer artifact. He offers it to our civilization, and it will likely adorn either the bedroom or tomb of our Baron Olive Garden. The artifact shows an image of The Citadel of Pitch the gabbro mug artifact in citrine crystal.

Summer 157: The Perfect Coven, the religious group led by Mount Everest, has enough worshippers where they now want a temple complex and a high priest.

Summer 157: Eros and Pop Rocks are now kindred spirits.

Summer 157: Now a group of goblin invaders have come to ambush us. It is really odd we have not been sieged yet. More attackers jumped out from ambush when we left the fortress, and a goblin maceman got a lucky hit on Jimmy Rollins, shattering his left kneecap.

Summer 157: Unfortunately, a goblin riding an elk bird managed to kill Jimmy Rollins. We will have to entomb him and train up a new militia dwarf. We also created a new militia squadron, led by Smokey Bear and including Aaron Nola, Biscotti, and Aerodactyl. The barracks are located in our tower, next to a store of gemstones.

Summer 157: We add a good number of statues to the temple for The Perfect Coven, including several of their god, Ysyru the Meteor of Cavorting. This statue was made by Francesca, and for some reason, the deity is screaming. We recognize Mount Everest as the high priest, still called the Holy Seal, and Prometheus is appointed to be the High Key of the congregation. Prometheus is a little bit depressed, so I am hoping this helps them find meaning.

Summer 157: Our first siege has come, led by the naga Yssxiewaysol Duststeal, a competent commander. The highlight of what will be a pretty short life was getting married in winter of last year. They are attacking from the north of our fortress, which is a bit of a surprise; we figured with the mountain to the north, all attackers would come from the south. They request a parlay, which we will not pursue. There are 57 invaders, including any animals.

Summer 157: While we prepare for combat, we learn that our dwarves now know a few things about green d’gon training.

Summer 157: We slayed the invaders quite easily. Unfortunately, a lot of dwarves were witness to the bloodshed, or were assigned to bolt thrower duty, and are quite upset about it. 8 citizens, including militia crossbowman captain Inspuz Aratcaslu, bookkeeper The Consumer, marksdwarf General Tso, child Whiskey Sour, Musty the elf crossbowman, and marksdwarf Big Yakker are all quite upset.

Autumn 157: The dwarven caravan has come once again. We will need to make a good showing, as the trade and flow of migrants have died down a good deal.

Autumn 157: Arothotad and the surrounding lands have been made a duchy. Cricket, our mayor, was also re-elected. Many citizens are not a fan of how this last battle went down, and resent Cricket and Olive Garden quite a bit. As a result, Blazikin, Big Head Man, Appalachia, Thor, Shake Shack, Dasher, Busy Bee, Delta Airlines, The Riddler, Randy Johnson, Blingus, Alakazam, and Scott Rolen chose to leave our fortress.

Autumn 157: Mena, a tanner, was inspired to create Ekasttekkud (The Safe Pick), a rounded yak leather cap artifact. He claims it as a family heirloom. It depicts Fatherglow the short sword artifact, as well as an elf Imaza Snarlvines fleeing into The Lavender Tundra in the year 19.

Autumn 157: More citizens decided to leave, including Belmont, Ivy, Leonard, Charon, Bonnie, Connormyhomie, Hitmonlee, Lucario, Avalon, Nepo Baby, Amber Aura, and Stardew.

Autumn 157: We finished Teresa Giudice’s room! She has the green glass artifact armor stand Balancesoar on display. She has the smallest recognized religion, with only 12 members.

Autumn 157: We finished the duke Olive Garden’s rooms as well. We have some lovely statues on display, including a gold statue of Francesca as well as Olive Garden themselves, as well as silver statues of Olimar, Brooklyn, and our site Magichands. The chest artifacts Dangledclouts and The Flicker of Destroyers are on display in the tomb and bedroom, respectively.

Autumn 157: The hillocks of Brandedwhipped have been founded nearly a day’s travel to the southwest and have been incorporated into our holdings. A dwarf named Asob Spearamber (whom we are not familiar with) has been appointed to be the sheriff of The Silvers of Love.

Autumn 157: The dwarves of our civilization are now expert badger trainers.

Winter 157: The Winter comes, and with it, the Moonstone Festival. Olive Garden leads our citizens in a dance, while monster hunter Edgar Allen Poe simulates an aven instrument.

Winter 157: The festival ends, and the fortress returns to normalcy. What is not normal, however, is an attacking force from the Centaurs coming with a group of human axemen. Given we have slaughtered much of their kind, I guess they want revenge. They have some humans and a couple of siege llamas?

Winter 157: We were able to take them out. In commemoration, Carson Wentz, our weaponsmith, created Utallilar Umomezneth (Ecrupattern the Dark Fragment), a copper battle axe artifact, which she offers to our group. We gave this powerful weapon to Appletini for usage.

Year 158-

Spring 158: A group of 10 additional elves joined our fortress as refugees.

Spring 158: A set of two new forgotten beasts came to our fortress’ cavern. The Newt of Umbras, a towering one-eyed ankylosaurid, with a bloated body full of poisonous blood. The second is called Syxtsic, an enormous hairy tick beast that shoots webs.

Spring 158: We need to expand one of our layers into the caverns, so we prepare to fight both of these monstrous beasts.

Spring 158: Uh oh. As soon as we open up the fortress’ cavern layer, a goblin force with umber hulks have come to attack. We will try to safely reposition our forces. We were able to kill or chase them all away.

Spring 158: The swordsave Edgar Allen Poe slipped into our caverns right before the battle, and they are now unfortunately missing.

Spring 158: Further grim tidings have come, with the beast Gedor Dungeonmirrors resurfacing from the rivers of our cavern layer. This will be a ferocious monster to fight.

Spring 158: Brigandtaxes, the earring artifact, was seen being stolen. Unfortunately, Brooklyn is the culprit. That means he is not down in the caverns, which are now opened again.

Spring 158: Charcoal Pit, our Captain of the Guard, was able to capture Brooklyn and took him for interrogation. Dang Evilpartnered was implicated, and thrown into prison after a beating. Brooklyn was beaten and thrown into prison, as well.

Spring 158: Another beast has come, Tsoyj the Spit of Sweating, a towering eyeless squirrel with green, thick hair that is near impenetrable, and a strong web attack.

Spring 158: Syxtsic Shaftfilths is the first to come, and it is evident upon its approached that it fought hard against two powerful foes - The Newt of Umbras, but also Edgar Allen Poe the aven monster slayer.

Spring 158: Gail the Snail sent a well placed bolt directly into the brain of the beast, killing it.

Spring 158: Up next comes Gedor Dungeonmirrors, a huge humanoid-like goat creature with external ribs and a horrid lime color. It has a fire breath attack.

Spring 158: The beast managed to kill Stan, an axe lord.Due to the fires that he is creating, much of our dwarves are afraid to engage with them.

Spring 158: Anti-Capitalist, the sword master, was also killed by the beast before we could slay it.. Battered and bruised, Olive Garden orders that we close the gates of the cavern and try to regroup. Ize! has been struck by a strange mood and claimed a metalsmithing shop, so not all hope is lost. Hades and Burnt Joker enlist in the militia to replace the fallen.

Summer 158: Ize!, our resident Sacred Earth, has created Bithitireg Ast Urmim (Shearflushed the Sabres of Swimming), an iron spear artifact. It is a beautiful spear of extensive quality that shows the founding of Magichands in 150.

Summer 158: Mudo has returned, this time to enjoy our tavern. Unfortunately, everyone in the fort is far too busy to hang out.

Summer 158: We began work on building an expansion floor for our fortress, so we can house more citizens.

Summer 158: Edgar Allen Poe, the ave swordsave, was found dead in our caverns. They were a brave and loyal soldier.

Summer 158: It appears there was a big falling out, and Eros and Pop Rocks are no longer friends with Ize! .

Summer 158: We have had multiple necromancers come to our fortress; of note is the overlord necromancer Pilo Deerrasp, who is no doubt trying to ingratiate herself to some of our citizens so she can make off with an artifact. We did hope to attract necromancers to our tavern, so that is another goal achieved.

Summer 158: The Werecamel Bula Rakeekila has come, a very large camel werebeast crazed for blood and flesh. We will have to take this down quickly.

Summer 158: Bart Simpson, along with the rest of our militia, was able to kill the beast easily. No one was injured. Unfortunately, a new, extremely powerful forgotten beast has come to horrify our residents, named Sr’tk Suckermangy the Hollow Sweat. A monster like this will be incredibly hard for our archers to take down, and due to its web attacks it will be very hard to strike at, as well.

Summer 158: Appletini confessed to Charcoal Pit that he worked alongside Brooklyn to attempt to steal Brigandtaxes. They will both be sentenced to punishment.

Autumn 158: Our prisoner of war execution room is complete. We prepare to execute 20 captives.

Autumn 158: Our execution was successful without any issues, but we did place our marksdwarves on a break so they can destress a little.

Autumn 158: The dwarven caravan came, but with it came an ambush force of kobolds. We sent out the Barricaded Toes (without Brooklyn and Appletini, since they are in jail) to deal with them. A few of the trading dwarves were ambushed and killed before we could respond, and they chose to leave with all their goods in tow. This sucks! Squidward, the thresher, was caught collecting wood and was killed. Steelhead, a metalcrafter, was killed as well. Zoltar got hit quite hard by a hammer-wielding kobold, and is in critical condition. Burnt Joker, a spear wielding new recruit, was found killed. Zoltar succumbed to his wounds. The traders did drop some reindeer, which does accomplish a major goal of our fortress, but at a steep cost.

Autumn 158: We began work on a memorial hall for our fallen warriors.

Autumn 158: The two forgotten beasts, Tsoyj the Spit of Sweating and Sr’tk Suckermang the Hollow Sweat are fighting! Their blows are so powerful that we can feel them everywhere in the fortress. Ultimately, Tsoyj the Spit of Sweating is victorious.

Autumn 158: A group of Naga attackers have come to siege us. They are commanded by a competent commander, and have skilled spearmen. They number about 73, and some are flying on hippogriffs. The group that is attacking us is called The Flickering Hate.

Autumn 158: Mint Leaf and Mamoswine, two new recruits, were killed by the goblins. We will bury them kindly, as well. Neither reached the level of acclaim for the new statue room.

Winter 158: The Winter comes, and with it, the Moonstone Festival. 10 of our 133 citizens are extremely upset right now, so we are hopeful this will help them relax.

Winter 158: Mudo, the traveling magician was paid a handsome sum to make an example out of Brooklyn. For his role in trying to steal our precious artifacts, she has been transformed into a rat person. She will be changed back when she proves herself in battle and gets a notable kill.

Winter 158: Another dance circle has formed! You can see some undead humans are taking part, along with the kobold Megumi.

Winter 158: When the Moonstone Festival ended, our farmers came together to request a grand guildhall. We will grant this request. It was quite simple to just add a few more statues. Parc Ranger and Curly are socializing and enjoying the new, upgraded ambience.

Winter 158: The tomb for Edgar Allen Poe is complete. Some statues showing an account of his life are present, including an event we were unaware of when a giant centipede tore off his arm in 142. Another statue commemorates his first visit to our fortress in 151. He got 11 kills in his lifetime, and was famed for his crundle killing abilities.

Winter 158: An insane forgotten beast has arrived! Named Kabukuk Dungeonmurk, he is a towering scaly scorpion with three curly tails and yellow scales. His poisonous sting is particularly potent. We will prepare to fight him.

Winter 158: A third one came! Ultimately, the beast Yali is the first forgotten beast to rush towards our forces.

Winter 158: The Hat Man, a swordmaster, gets the final blow.

Winter 158: Musty the elf marksman and Big Yakker the elite marksdwarf are quite stressed and chose to leave their military squads. They were replaced by Craving an IPA and Porygon-Z.

Winter 158: Celsius Energy Drink has created Tholumer Desgir Dakost, a nickel throne artifact. She claims it as a family heirloom. We have no time to break this down, as we are under attack! Kabukuk Dungeonmurk is here, and is ready to destroy our forces. PISCESFOO blasted a hole straight through it with a well placed bolt, ending its threat.

Winter 158: Deepblushes, the Goad of Floors is the true name of the artifact Tholumer Desgir Dakost, created by Celcius Energy Drink. This artifact shows Mezbuth Marketworked ascending to queendom in the year 150.

Year 159-

Spring 159: The new year comes, and Brooklyn is still stuck in rat mode.

Spring 159: We begin a large project to add statues to all our bedrooms, making them truly lavish.

Spring 159: Smokey Bear is the militia captain of our second melee militia squad, The Tapered Rocks. He is a legendary fighter, observer, and axedwarf. He is also a proficient teacher. Our second squad varies greatly in skills, with some members being legendary in training, and some only being adequate. He works hard to try and keep our fortress well-defended and secure.

Summer 159: Misdreavus, the weaponsmith, has created Nelassefol Keshamstemel (Flickerenter the Curious Responsibility), an enormous nickel corkscrew artifact. She offers it to our civilization. It shows another monster that is home to The Lavender Tundra, this time the minotaur R’kin Secretiveveiled the Leap of Grease.

Summer 159: We got our first request to house a traveling performer, named Ricgo Commonsprung. They are a young human bard who we granted residency.

Summer 159: The Murky Hall, our miners’ guild, requested a grand guildhall. It is only fair that the miners share in the some of the wealth they have helped generate in our fortress.

Summer 159: Duzonshen (Smearchants) was seen being stolen. Shumros Taroscrir the human beast hunter was spotted running away with it. We commanded our forces to attack, and thankfully Omelette the axe lord was nearby, striking a blow that spilled the would-be thief’s guts. Shumros Drunkenmuscle began to strike back at Omelette using Duzonshen, shattering her foot. Omelette decapitated the thief before collapsing, to be carried as a hero into our hospital.

Summer 159: Right after, the Werepanda necromancer Syeshssxah Dshustxyqs appeared outside. He is extremely close, and scared away a human caravan that was sitting outside our fortress.

Summer 159: The werepanda senses combat and raises a large swath of the dead. We are in for quite the battle.

Summer 159: Pinfire decapitates the werebeast, but the battle is not over.

Summer 159: Aki Topknot was swarmed by the dead and killed. One of the undead has the ability to paralyze those it points towards, which is fearsome indeed. Big Yakker, an administrator and recent recruit into our marksdwarves, was killed as well. J, the planter, was caught out and killed.

Summer 159: Smokey Bear, our axe lord, was killed by a swarm of undead as well. He was the militia captain of our secondary squad. Aerodactyl, the spearmaster kobold, one of Smokey’s recruits, was killed as well. Doc, a gelder, was caught out and killed. Mothman, a weaponsmith, suffered the same fate.

Summer 159: Shameless, the powerful axe lord, was paralyzed and killed. Luke Skywalker, a miner, was also caught outside hauling logs and was killed.

Summer 159: Aaron Nola, the axe lord, was killed. Gorilla Glue, a newer speardwarf, was killed as well. Mileena, a swordmaster, fell alongside her comrades. It is true carnage here. Even a yak cow is in the middle of the battle.

Summer 159: Space Cream, the wrestler, was killed. Stepbrother, a speardwarf, was killed too. The battle ends, but at a great cost. Many are dead, and Pinfire, Jumping from Spiders, and Arthur Dent (a humble gem setter) remain injured. After we replenished our main squad, the only trainee left in the weaker squad was Hephaestus; all his comrades died in the battle.

Summer 159: As if summoned by the carnage, Cethutha the Moist Sea has come, a giant hairy eight-legged alligator with a poisonous bite. It didn’t take long for Cethutha to kill another forgotten beast, a dark gelatinous blob that was running around eating things.

Summer 159: As if things aren’t bad enough, a group of ratfolk snatchers kidnapped Cute Chuckler! They also have Mystic Glory the child.

Summer 159: As we chased after them, an ambush party emerged, stalling our militia.

Summer 159: THEY GOT AWAY ! CUTE CHUCKLER WAS KIDNAPPED! Captain America, her mother, is one of our marksdwarves. We are not sure how we are going to tell her this news. Thankfully, Mystic Glory fell into a cage with the other kidnapper and will be able to be retrieved.

Summer 159: Mr. T., a woodcrafter, was killed by the ambush party. Brooklyn was found to have gotten a worthwhile kill, and is redeemed. We will return their form to that of a dwarf.

Autumn 159: We outfitted the guildhall with the corkscrew artifact, which more than satisfied the miners.

Autumn 159: We found the position of the ratfolk fortress that stole away Cute Chuckler. They are quite some distance away.

Autumn 159: The dwarven caravan has come. We send Maya to do some trading. We got lots of goodies, including instruments, some toys, some steel weaponry and armor, some sheets, cloth, and a single piece of tiger salamander meat.

Autumn 159: A large number of our citizens chose to leave with the caravan. This list was notable for the stone carver dwarven founder of Magichands Grasshopper. Also is our only titled member of our fortress (to my knowledge) Musty the Scholarly Culmination of Bridging. Other dwarves leaving included Comet, LowTierGod, Goldtooth, Kyle2, Cole Hamels, Sploosh, Straa, Swag Daddy, Nifty Fifties, Lychee Martini, Blood Spike, and Loki.

Autumn 159: Appletini was caught once again trying to steal Brigandtaxes. This is a grave second offense, after his betrayal before. The punishment shall be banishment. Unfortunately, we could not catch him before he got away.

Autumn 159: A few migrants arrived, despite the danger, bringing our numbers to 131 total. This is still a stark decrease from this time last year.

Autumn 159: It has been decided that the Moonstone Festival will instead be celebrated when Cute Chuckler returns home. We will muster our forces after the banishment of Appletini is complete.

Autumn 159: Appletini was a notable dwarf, but unfortunately notable for his skill in combat and his desire to steal. These two opposing ideals have created strain within our fortress, as he is needed for defense, but he keeps giving away our artifacts.

Autumn 159: Maggs the clothier has created an artifact named Er Shetbeth (The Fat of Twinkling), an alpaca wool tunic. She offers it to our fortress. We will display it in the tavern. It depicts the artifact green glass armor stand Balancesoar in nickel.

Winter 159: The magician herald Uktang the Poetry of Visionaries has come, serving as the Holy Skull of an unknown religion. He foretells that if we do not rescue Cute Chuckler this month, we never will.

Winter 159: Malibu Mango was caught trying to steal Ekirshoduk Oltud Sisal, the yak bone spear. He tosses it to Uktang, who begins to flee our fortress. We must stop them! Thankfully, we ambushed him and there were no casualties. Instead of dying tho, he just dropped the spear and vanished in a puff of smoke after a strong axe strike.

Winter 159: We sent out the full might of our military to rescue Cute Chuckler. All were commanded to stay inside until our return. Appletini was sent away to Brandedwhipped, our holding, as his punishment.

Winter 159: Just as our forces returned home, extremely grim tidings. The forest titan Jvuhs Gorgescales the Pristine, a giant coral-composed beast, has returned just as our forces return to our fortress. We will have to muster a defense. Metagross, our manager, shattered the beast’s legs with the bolt thrower, and the finished it off by grinding it down.

Winter 159: We returned home with everyone but Cute Chuckler. A second search party was sent out. We looted Rirrechvreeke Vrekerraksrekit (Passionpacks the Calamitous Nights) from the settlement.

Winter 159: The search returned to no avail. Cute Chuckler is lost to us. We sent our dwarves out one last time to search nearby.

Winter 159: The elf surgeon Ares tried to steal the new artifact Er Shetbeth (The Fat of Twinkling). Absolutely not. We locked the doors and he froze up and dropped it. He will be arrested.

Winter 159: The naga have come in full force to retaliate for our prior successful defenses. Our forces are still abroad. They want to parlay, so we plan to stall them until our forces are returned.

Winter 159: Our forces returned , having no luck in their search for Cute Chuckler.

Winter 159: Big Head Man has claimed a blacksmith forge and demands logs. We will have to temporarily suspend our burrow order to allow him to retrieve some. Even when we did this, he still was not interested in moving. Not sure what is wrong.

Winter 159: The naga forces begin to move towards our fortress. They have some massive umber hulks with them, along with a ton of naga with spear proficiencies. Megumi, a kobold, was the first of our fortress to be found dead. I have no clue what he was doing outside, but he was swarmed by attackers. No other casualties occurred. Big Head Man was freed to look for resources for his artifact on the surface. Many of the naga were captured, to be executed later.

Year 160-

Spring 160- Big Head Man created his masterwork, Matomrist Eggut Anban (Bentwildness the Gully of Lathering), an iron splint. She claims it as a family heirloom. It shows Olive Garden embracing a lizard. Olive Garden was delighted to see this artifact.

Spring 160: A group of ratfolk ambushers jumped out. One, named Ikete Shellmonstrous, managed to break into our fortress and wreak havoc, scaring Gail the Snail and killing Snow.

Spring 160: The Brass Swamps, a performance troupe, begged for safe haven in our fortress. We granted that request.

Spring 160: Now a centaur army are invading us! We just cannot catch a break. Tell me why some of the centaur are riding donkeys.

Spring 160: A group sprung from ambush before our forces could retreat to a more fortified position. For some reason, many militia members have dropped their weapons, and are fighting bare handed.

Spring 160: Sponsored Advertisement, a swordsdwarf, was overwhelmed and killed. That was our only loss before we routed the enemy.

Spring 160: After the battle, we learned that our queen has arrived, with a full entourage.

Spring 160: Mebzuth Marketworked is here. She is a young queen, at just 40 years old. She is a high mater weaver, bone carver, and wax worker. She is married to Lizard Eater, who briefly lived at our fortress in the year 154 before fleeing with the caravan. She has no children and no friends. She does have a single kill, having killed an elf in Strappedglove.

Summer 160: Hephaestus the axedwarf was caught trying to steal Duzonshen (Smearchants). She has been through a lot, and I wonder if she is looking for a way out of our fortress. He was caught and sentenced to a small stint in jail.

Summer 160: We performed a scrying spell with the help of some magic-aligned visitors, to try to locate Cute Chuckler. We were not successful, but did locate her father, Charon. After Charon abandoned Cute Chuckler, his other daughter Lilo, and his wife Captain America, he joined the Dark Fortress Confuseplague, a naga stronghold. That might be a good place to destroy, to see if he stole away Cute Chuckler in some twisted custody battle. Confuseplague was originally destroyed once before, in the year 42 the brush titan Rxyu Vineoars the Sprayed Growth came and destroyed the fortress, only for it to be reclaimed by the naga in the year 77. Vr’k, a cursed corpse magician, was who helped us divine this information.

Summer 160: We were finally able to successfully create 100 bars of soap, completing a main goal of our fortress. This will also help our medical infrastructure function far better.

Summer 160: We have allowed a few individual performers and some performing troupes have safe haven at our fortress, and therefore have achieved another goal of our fortress.

Summer 160: The Martyrs of Blossoming, a performance troupe, has requested lodging here. We grant their request.

Summer 160: Brooklyn decided to lead an attack against Confuseplague, with the goal of demanding surrender and occupying the fortress. If successful, they will likely reside there as leader.

Summer 160: The Apprentice, a thresher, was inspired and created Nishgusil Edankol (Tradedcopper the Stirred Wheel), a nickel short sword artifact. It depicts the settling of the dwarf Mothman in Magichands in the midspring of 155. It also has an image of Flickerenter the Curious Responsibility to enormous nickel corkscrew artifact on it.

Summer 160: Brooklyn’s conquest was successful, and we are now the leaders of Confuseplague. Amaru the peasant was appointed messenger by the queen, and went to demand much of our militia comes home. North Berry was elected the position of administrator of The Primitive Lantern, the new local government of Confuseplague.

Summer 160: We will need to reform our military squads, so we took this opportunity to revamp our first barracks for our first squad, which was poorly and hastily made. Bart Simpson was elected as our new militia commander. He is well known for three notable kills, including cleaving Zile Depthidols the Little Fleck in two in a single blow. He is a legendary axedwarf and a grand master teacher.

Summer 160: For our marksdwarf squad, we chose Captain America to lead it. As the mother of Cute Chuckler, she is highly motivated to get revenge on those who captured her child, and to keep Lilo safe. Her deadbeat husband, Charon, was returned to our fortress by force after we took over Confuseplague, where he was living. She is a professional marksdwarf and is well-acclaimed.

Summer 160: Finally, for our training squad, we didn’t have any great candidates to lead. We chose Rocky Road as he recovers quickly and had some very minimal prior training. We assigned this young dwarf custody of  Nishgusil Edankol (Tradedcopper the Stirred Wheel) the nickel sword, as a way to inspire confidence in his troops. The human soldier, Claydol, will also help him to lead and train his forces.

Autumn 160: The Hall of Sacks, a ranger group, has many members in Magichands and requests a guildhall. It has been quite some time since we got such a request, so we happily agree to oblige them.

Autumn 160: The ave poet Pizza Delivery was spotted carrying Ekirshoduk Oltud Sisal (Luciddives the Stalker of Gallows) to an unknown collaborator. She was captured and beaten.

Autumn 160: A group called The Innocent Nights asked to live in our fortress. We are hoping there will be some not-so-innocent nights in the fortress in our future (there are not a lot of children) so we will allow them to stay as a reverse psychology type of thing.

Autumn 160: Ekirshoduk Oltud Sisal (Luciddives the Stalker of Gallows) went missing again, with this time, the elf Stressed Out was seen carrying it. He passes it to Olantara Palesteamy, an ave hunter necromancer who is an adept maceave. Thankfully, Luciddives is a spear, not a mace, and we deploy our military to reclaim it by force. Ultimately, The Hat Man gained credit for the kill.

Autumn 160: Many dwarves chose to leave with the trading caravan from our former capital, including Beard to the Beard, Anti-Lizard Lobbyist, Banned from Petco, Nightmare, Lil Wayne, Linguini, Liam, Angry Dad, The Apprentice, and Jeremy.

Autumn 160: We just noticed that the artifact Er Shetbeth went missing from its place on the pedestal in our tavern. Apparently, no one saw it go missing.

Autumn 160: The caverns are awash with forgotten beasts, with a fifth being introduced into the local ecosystem. Named Hopk Bloathearts the Mucous Mines, it is a three eyed skink with dark olive scales and a poisonous bites. The Queen Mebzuth Marketworked and our dear baron Olive Garden met, and they discussed that many local settler were scared to come to live at Magichands. We will have to do something about these threats. Olive Garden have Bart Simpson possession of the great artifact battle axe Utallilar Umomezneth (Ecrupattern the Dark Fragment), and asked that he deal with this problem.

Autumn 160: The first attacker comes quickly, and he may be the most threatening of the bunch. Named Gutswims the Feral Spider, they are a gigantic quadruped composed of periclase, a tough stone. They have a poisonous vapor attack, and given our lack of a library, we do not have an easy way to research what that may be, or if there is an antivenom of sorts that can neutralize it. Thankfully, Captain America and our marksdwarves manage to kill it at range.

Autumn 160: We lose one war dog, and it appears this poison is of the hemorrhaging blood variety, so we are lucky we killed it at range. There is no real time to take a breath, as the next forgotten beast, Dumlti Washsoaks has come. They are an enormous feathered mite with a deadly dust attack. Much of its body is rotten from what was a likely attack by a different beast. Hopefully we can deal with this one, as well.

Autumn 160: Dumlti was rushing towards us, but then froze. Hopk Bloathearts the Mucous Mines rushes past the cowering beast and runs towards the entrance. He is also a bit battle scarred, but we are ready.

Autumn 160: Hot Spot Pizza and Jumping from Spiders also rush in to engage the beast. It took a while, but eventually Hot Spot Pizza manages to kill the beast. Now, Dumlti Washsoaks is coming in to attack.

Autumn 160: General Tso gets the kill on Dumlti immediately with a bolt through its head.

Autumn 160: With the beasts dead, we begin our project to build the Queen’s quarters jutting into the caverns. Unfortunately, as we began, a final beast flew in from hiding - Sunksplashes the Submerged Shafts. This is a one-eyed Grebe, a duck like creature with a deadly spittle attack. The beast pecks directly into the brains of the miner Alexander, killing them.

Winter 160: Things were coming along nicely, at least until Big Head Man the blacksmith was spotted trying to hand Ekirshoduk Oltud Sisal (Luciddives the Stalker of Gallows) to a visitor. We prepared to kill the visitor. The visitor is Srakeek Mucklies, an aven necromancer. Unfortunately, he spies our butchery pile, and raises some dead farm animals there.

Winter 160: A group of ambushers came to attack us. We swarm them to the best of our ability, but Rocky Road is still too green and is taken out by a stray bolt. They manage to breach our fortress and kill The Analyst, which forces us to respond and move our forces from where we are building the Queen’s quarters.

Winter 160: Pizza Delivery, an ave poet, was killed as well. Claydol, the human pikeman was killed. Lucario, a siege operator was killed. Peachy Keen, an ave dancer, was killed. It is very problematic that Rocky Road was killed, as we were relying on them to train our second military squad. We conscript Big Head Man to be the new militia leader as he had tried to steal from us.

Winter 160: A new forgotten beast has come, named Eduma. It is a towering skinless dimetrodon with a web attack. We have to take it down before it breaches our fortress. We set up a defensive perimeter.

Winter 160: The Undertaker, a woodcrafter, has created Usithshislug (Grimmuddled), a tower-cap earring artifact. She offers it to our group. This is a very pretty artifact that shows the elf Imaza Snarlvines fleeing into The Lavender Tundra. It shows this image twice, so this must be a story that is very dear to the heart of The Undertaker. It also shows Fatherglow, Brooklyn’s legendary artifact sword. I wonder what she is up to now!

Winter 160: Eduma Outragesinge manages to kill Hot Spot Pizza and Jumping from Spiders before engaging the rest of our military. After a bit of a bloodbath that yielded no further casualties, we took the beast down. Theo was granted credit for the kill.

Winter 160: Another ferocious forgotten beast has come; this time, Idek the Subordinate Holes has arrived, an enormous quadruped composed of tin. It has a deadly dust attack.

Winter 160: We try to shore up our defenses and retreat. Meanwhile, on the surface, the elf Lucky Charm Leprechaun died of an infection he got during our last ambush battle.

Winter 160: Despite Zoloft being extremely slow at installing mechanisms, we were able to close the bronze bridge serving as an access gate, and the Queen’s new retreat is secured. We still need to do some artistic re-imagining of her quarters, but have a lovely little outpost through which she can see all the carnage of the caverns.

Winter 160: Ekirshoduk Oltud Sisal (Luciddives the Stalker of Gallows) was once again seen being stolen. Now, it is Em who has tried to give it away. She passes it to Ikeka Monstrousleak, a doomed zombie man. Death to him! He fights pretty hard actually, holding his own against Teddiursa and Bart Simpson before being overwhelmed when monster hunter ave Jolteon joined the fray. Em gets drafted into our training squad as punishment.

Winter 160: Omelette, one of our soldiers in our first militia squad, has been hampered by an injured foot that makes her unable to hold a weapon. We chose to retire her. She helped greatly in the many crises over the last few years.

Year 161-

Spring 161: The year begins with another all too common occurrence - a thief trying to steal. Duzonshen (Smearchants) was seen being taken from its pedestal. Dumbo, the kobold, has stolen it.

Spring 161: Moo Moo Meadow the kobold poet died of old age. He passes it to this prophet, named Bembul Konzuntir, who created a scroll called “Questions about the Monastery”.

Spring 161: Two great forgotten beasts are fighting. In the silver corner is Idek the Subordinate Holes, a tin quadruped beast with a dust attack. In the brown corner is Yilur Drinkbleach, a huge albatross beast with deadly blood.

Spring 161: Yilur Drinkbleach is victorious!

Spring 161: Shockingly, none of our citizens are extremely unhappy right now. This is a rare achievement!

Spring 161: Pop Rocks and Eros are lovers! The honeymoon suite is slowly but surely working!

Spring 161: Goblins hate love, so they show up right away, commanded by the goblin Dua Stranglebusts, a competent commander. They have hammermen with troll siege engineers.

Spring 161: We took them out with no casualties. There was a cool forgotten beast that came, Utes the Umbral, an enormous martin with noxious secretions.

Spring 161: Registeel has crated Inalonshen (Lulledchant), a nickel helm artifact. This is quite fitting given her name. She offers it to our military. It depicts the founding of Magichands in 150, and has some lovely accents with gems on it.

Spring 161: WOAH OUR FIRST WEDDING! And it is Pop Rocks and Eros, joined in holy matrimony. They both felt love while getting married, and had a quiet, private exchanging of vows in the weaponsmith guildhall in their suite together. How romantic..

Summer 161: A group called The Deviance of Reputations asked to join us. That same is suspicious so we declined.

Summer 161: Fortnite Gamer just petitioned to join our fortress permanently. They are a human bard. We granted their request.

Summer 161: Duzonshen (Smearchants) was seen being stolen again. This time, we noted that Baby Dragon was the one who grabbed it. Fortnite Gamer, who just joined our fortress, snatched it away and put it back on the pedestal. Go Fortnite Gamer!

Summer 161: The werecamel Sasuohast Werestole has come. Thankfully, we still have our bolt thrower operators on duty, and I am hopeful we can gun him down.

Summer 161: Ultimately, our melee squad had to deal with him. Ven, the swordmaster, gets the kill, and this is their fifth notable kill! He gains the title “The Blockaded Equality of Mansions”. He is the first melee dwarf to get a title in our fortress!

Summer 161: Mudo the magician visited again, which we took as an opportunity to scry. We learned that Brooklyn has been doing well over in Confuseplague, doing a great job defending against a very recent attack in summer. His leadership skills gave his defensive forces a strong positional advantage within the former Ratfolk fortress, and he was able to defend. He was attacked by the Bowels of Competition, which are a kobold group that must have tried to take over what they thought was a weakly defended fort. We also learned of a brute of cherry opal named Tob Blistersuckers, who, despite being the leader of a goblin caste, helps to serve as militia commander of one of our holdings, and routinely helps to lead the defense of it from attackers. I think when we took over his capital, Doomedcircled, he stayed put and integrated into our fortress because his slade spire (called the Dead Palace) is directly underneath. This is quite the interesting arrangement. There has been talk of other types of demons in the world seemingly appearing from the underworld, but they haven’t caused too much of a stir yet.

Summer 161: We are beginning to run a bit low on food to fuel our forges and furnaces. This could be problematic.

Autumn 161: The dwarven caravan from our former capital came. We sent Maya to go trade. We were able to trade for some logs and some instruments. Maya is doing well. She is a legendary carpenter and a legendary appraiser, and is a skilled negotiator.

Autumn 161: A few citizens elected to leave, including Scott Rolen, Stressed Out, Fortnite Gamer, and Monster Hunter. We will especially miss Fortnite Gamer, who I was taking a liking to.

Autumn 161: Limewire, an aven poet, was inspired and created Kinaoncak (Forkednose), a dolomite scepter artifact. She offers it to our group. It shows an image of a tower cap earring artifact, Grimmuddled, which was made in our fortress. It also depicts our second ruler, Zefon Theaterhelp rising to power in the year 2.

Autumn 161: Ah shit, the thieves made off with our artifacts on display in the tavern. Er Shetbeth (The Fat of Twinkling), an alpaca wool tunic has been gone for a while, but Ekirshoduk Oltud Sisal (Luciddives the Stalker of Gallows) the bone spear is also missing. We placed Tholumer Desgir Dakost (Deepblushes the Goad of Floors), Kinaoncak (Forkednose), and Usithshislug (Grimmuddled) on display instead.

Autumn 161: Randy Johnson asked to join as a citizen of Magichands. We grant this request. They are an ave poet. Crouton also asked to join, which we granted. They are a human dancer. Cricket still handles the day to day of menial approvals like this for the fortress, and is very accomplished for his age. He is only 34 but has created an artifact, has been our mayor for many years (with consecutive terms, I might add), and he is a great source of wisdom and comfort for our many citizens.

Autumn 161: The enemy has come, a naga army seeking a parley, otherwise they will levy a siege. They are commanded by Arprl Braidchoked, a competent commander. They have armored naga spearmen and war umber hulks. They also have some war opossum. We prepare for a defense.

Autumn 161: Lisa Simpson, a kobold poet, was caught up by the horde and killed. Our second militia captain, Big Head Man, is leader of the reserve forces as punishment for stealing. He is a proficient swordsdwarf now. He wields the legendary artifact blade Nishgusil Edankol (Tradedcopper the Stirred Wheel).

Autumn 161: They must have used some fell sorcery to engage our citizenry in confusion and panic. Lizard Eater, king consort, freaked out and ran outside our walls, being killed by the horde. Mezbuth Markedworked is extremely distraught and angry. Parc Ranger, Omelette, and Red Phone Holder man were killed, too. Limewire, the aven poet who just created an artifact for us, was killed too. The Consumer, an elf miner, was found dead. Gail the Snail (an elven poet, not the original) was found dead. Jonah, a milker, was found dead.

Autumn 161: A new song has played, a song of sorrow. Many have died. We may be victorious, but at what cost? This place of ours, Magichands, cannot truly become a Mountainhome until our dwarves and citizens are truly safe here. The Queen mourns, and she is angry. She demands another melee militia squad be created, and more defenses be constructed.

Winter 161: The Hat Man is probably our most revered warrior currently at our fortress. He just gained a title, called The Hat Man the Emerald.

Winter 161:  Far too soon, a kobold force has come to invade us. They are led by Tryrge Shrewoman, a competent commander. Their crowning achievement was getting married in 159.

Winter 161: A small force filtered onto the map, seeing the dead and bloodied bodies of the naga who were recently killed. Much of the forces turn back, save a few small ambush parties. Metagross, our long time manager, was ambushed and killed. They were a kind person and good worker who will be hard to replace.

Winter 161: Petah, the stoneworker was killed. This could be another bloodbath. Zoloft, the butcher was found dead. Amanda and Bill Maureen were killed. Lil Jon was killed. Shaggy a wood burner (and a damned good one at that) was killed. Hubert and Ice Block were killed. The Prince was killed.

Winter 161: We managed to kill the rest, but times are dire. We only have 135 citizens, when we had over 150 to start the year. Of small consolation is the fact that Illiterate joined as a permanent citizen …. They can’t even read.

Winter 161: Sponsored by NordVPN was elected to be our miner. Registeel was elected to be our armorer. Randy Johnson was elected to be our hammerer.

Winter 161: A new forgotten beast has come, called Wildnessmobs the Jaw of Routs. They are a towering eyeless llama beast with scarlet hair and deadly blood. It does not look like a llama at all.

Winter 161: Utes the Umbral somehow made it into our fortress. I missed the action, but it appears that some of our miners were present and took the monster down. Casrna, a clothier, went right back to work burning wood for charcoal after the beast was killed. It isn’t clear how the beast made their way into our fortress.

Winter 161: Keemstar has joined as a permanent citizen.

Year 162-

Spring 162: Groot, a four-armed nagi dancer, died of old age.

Spring 162: A group of about 20 new dwarven migrants arrived.

Spring 162: The dwarves of The Indigo Boulder have attained a general familiarity with d’gon training methods.

Spring 162: Beard to the Beard, a miner, has created Nebkizbiz (Browndeer), a gabbro cabinet artifact. He offers it to our group. It depicts the ascension of Mebzuth Marketworked to queen in the year 150. It also shows the elf Imaza Snarlvines running into The Lavender Tundra in the year 19. It shows a named iron short sword, Mintcult the Saturnine Leader, as well as the item Peacefulpraise the iron shield. Finally, it shows some hidden moons in forgotten beast bone. After this artifact was created, nature became a little bit brighter and the lands around our fortress seemed to grow verdant.

Spring 162: A group of ratfolk snatchers came, and we chased them away, right into an ambush party. Tin Man, a human dancer, was overwhelmed and killed.

Summer 162: HOA Hater joined as a permanent citizen. They are an aven poet.

Summer 162: Olive Garden, our duke and now the duke of Confuseplague as well, is quite unhappy with his position. He feels that he spends too much time meeting with unhappy citizens, and would prefer to be crafting things, hanging with friends, or undergoing martial training.

Summer 162: Stan petitioned to join our fortress as a permanent citizen, which was accepted. They are an aven poet.

Autumn 162: We are currently working on another execution of our prisoners of war.

Autumn 162: Dusclops joined as a permanent citizen. Vincent joined as a permanent citizen.

Autumn 162: The dwarven caravan has come. Ever ready, Maya the broker prepared to meet with the trade delegation.

Autumn 162: The dwarves of The Indigo Boulder know a few facts about kangaroo training.

Autumn 162: A group of citizens, including Jumping from Spiders, Clairo, Big Yakker, Lairon, Keemstar, Nifty Fifties, and Illiterate decided to leave. The newly citizened migrants Dusclops, Vincent, and Stan decided to go to a different settlement.

Autumn 162: Comet, a blacksmith, created Kezat Tecak (The Dangers of Sweetness), an iron floodgate artifact. He offers it to our civilization. These types of indestructible floodgates are always useful for defense. It depicts Balancesoar the green glass armor stand artifact.

Autumn 162: Lost Shaker of Salt joined our fortress as a permanent citizen. Tosid, Shoe Shoner, Vaporeon, Dumbo and Sponsored Advertisement joined as well.

Autumn 162: We slaughtered most of our captives, except for the ave snatcher pale butcher Vik’tk Kekchdrik, who apparently was imprisoned and got mixed up with the criminals. We will release them.

Autumn 162: Starmie joins as a permanent citizen. Scorpion Killer joins us as well.

Autumn 162: A group of centaur attacked us, injuring Blue Skies greatly. He is resting in our hospital while our militia hunt down those remaining.

Autumn 162: Italian Grinder joined my fortress as a permanent citizen.

Autumn 162: The Deviance of Reputations were allowed to join as entertainers, as they have requested many times now and have kind of just been hanging around since the first time.

Winter 162: We began to expand our basic tomb district to house more fallen.

Winter 162: A group of just 9 ratfolk spearman came to attack. Eight of them are piloting battering rams. Surely there are invaders hiding in ambush to get us.

Winter 162: Multiple ambush parties attacked us. Michael Jackson, an axedwarf, was caught alone and overpowered. Clancy, a new recruit swordsdwarf in our third melee squad, died defending the fortress entrance from some ratfolk.

Winter 162: While we were licking our wounds, Usithshislug (Grimmuddled), was found in the possession of kobold prophet Zaso Boarsabres. He says “Ontir will destroy Savioryawning”, which is indecipherable to me. He was caught and killed before leaving the fortress.

Winter 162: We learned The Deviance of Reputations was just a single kobold in a performing troupe, named Kratos. She is quite powerful, having an artifact spear artifact and legendary fighting skills. Her artifact spear, Gisasthitic (Giftends) is a simple but beautiful artifact.

Winter 162: Two forgotten beasts are fighting right outside of our fortress. Zimun Carnagedied, on the left, is a great one-eyed eight-legged iguana. It has ecru scales and a deadly spittle attack. Yula, on the left, is a towering hairy nematode beast with a pale blue hair and web attack. It appears that Zimun is losing this battle.

Winter 162: Yula wins the battle. We prepare to ambush the beast in our trap chamber to remove it as a potential future threat. The beast rushes forward. Philadelphia Zoo slays it with a single bolt.

Winter 162: We caught Teresa Giudice stealing. As holy vale and head of The Doctrines of Heather, our forces did not have the authority to confront her, and Olive Garden was taking a nap. Our forces watched haplessly as she negotiated with Ola Prairiebirth, a ave commander necromancer. We took Ola to our dungeon and HOA Hater retrieved Grimmuddled (Usithshislug) the artifact.

Winter 162: The dwarves of The Indigo Boulder now know a few facts about kakapo training.

Year 163-

Spring 163: Scorpion Killer, a human poet, died of old age. Last year, someone died of old age right away and we had a calm, quiet year so I hope this is a good tiding for us.